diff --git a/operator-framework-core/src/main/java/io/javaoperatorsdk/operator/api/reconciler/DefaultContext.java b/operator-framework-core/src/main/java/io/javaoperatorsdk/operator/api/reconciler/DefaultContext.java
index 50e61526c4..328ef651c9 100644
--- a/operator-framework-core/src/main/java/io/javaoperatorsdk/operator/api/reconciler/DefaultContext.java
+++ b/operator-framework-core/src/main/java/io/javaoperatorsdk/operator/api/reconciler/DefaultContext.java
@@ -21,6 +21,8 @@
 import java.util.Set;
 import java.util.concurrent.ConcurrentHashMap;
 import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.Lock;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
 import java.util.function.Function;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
 import java.util.stream.Stream;
@@ -50,6 +52,9 @@ public class DefaultContext<P extends HasMetadata> implements Context<P> {
   private final boolean primaryResourceDeleted;
   private final boolean primaryResourceFinalStateUnknown;
   private final Map<DependentResource<?, P>, Object> desiredStates = new ConcurrentHashMap<>();
+  private final Map<DependentResource<?, P>, DesiredStateInProgress> desiredStatesInProgress =
+      new ConcurrentHashMap<>();
+  private final Map<DependentResource<?, P>, Lock> desiredStateLocks = new ConcurrentHashMap<>();
   private final ResourceOperations<P> resourceOperations;
 
   public DefaultContext(
@@ -257,14 +262,43 @@ public DefaultContext<P> setRetryInfo(RetryInfo retryInfo) {
   @SuppressWarnings("unchecked")
   public <R> R getOrComputeDesiredStateFor(
       DependentResource<R, P> dependentResource, Function<P, R> desiredStateComputer) {
-    return (R)
-        desiredStates.computeIfAbsent(
-            dependentResource,
-            ignored -> {
-              final var desired = desiredStateComputer.apply(getPrimaryResource());
-              applyDesiredStateAspects(desired, dependentResource);
-              return desired;
-            });
+    // an aspect can look up the actual resource of its dependent, which asks for the desired state
+    // being computed: the thread computing it is handed the state as it is so far, instead of
+    // re-entering the computation
+    final var computing = desiredStatesInProgress.get(dependentResource);
+    if (computing != null && computing.thread() == Thread.currentThread()) {
+      return (R) computing.desired();
+    }
+    final var existing = desiredStates.get(dependentResource);
+    if (existing != null) {
+      return (R) existing;
+    }
+    // not computed within ConcurrentHashMap.computeIfAbsent, since an aspect can look up the actual
+    // resource of another dependent, which re-enters this method for a different key
+    final var lock =
+        desiredStateLocks.computeIfAbsent(dependentResource, ignored -> new ReentrantLock());
+    lock.lock();
+    try {
+      final var computedMeanwhile = desiredStates.get(dependentResource);
+      if (computedMeanwhile != null) {
+        return (R) computedMeanwhile;
+      }
+      final var desired = desiredStateComputer.apply(getPrimaryResource());
+      if (desired == null) {
+        return null;
+      }
+      desiredStatesInProgress.put(
+          dependentResource, new DesiredStateInProgress(Thread.currentThread(), desired));
+      try {
+        applyDesiredStateAspects(desired, dependentResource);
+      } finally {
+        desiredStatesInProgress.remove(dependentResource);
+      }
+      desiredStates.put(dependentResource, desired);
+      return desired;
+    } finally {
+      lock.unlock();
+    }
   }
 
   /**
@@ -280,4 +314,6 @@ private void applyDesiredStateAspects(Object desired, DependentResource<?, P> de
           .forEach(aspect -> aspect.apply(hasMetadata, dependentResource, this));
     }
   }
+
+  private record DesiredStateInProgress(Thread thread, Object desired) {}
 }
diff --git a/operator-framework-core/src/test/java/io/javaoperatorsdk/operator/processing/dependent/DesiredStateAspectReentrancyTest.java b/operator-framework-core/src/test/java/io/javaoperatorsdk/operator/processing/dependent/DesiredStateAspectReentrancyTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..a7c85d928a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/operator-framework-core/src/test/java/io/javaoperatorsdk/operator/processing/dependent/DesiredStateAspectReentrancyTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,145 @@
+/*
+ * Copyright Java Operator SDK Authors
+ *
+ * Licensed under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the "License");
+ * you may not use this file except in compliance with the License.
+ * You may obtain a copy of the License at
+ *
+ *         http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
+ *
+ * Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing, software
+ * distributed under the License is distributed on an "AS IS" BASIS,
+ * WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, either express or implied.
+ * See the License for the specific language governing permissions and
+ * limitations under the License.
+ */
+package io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.processing.dependent;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.Set;
+
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import io.fabric8.kubernetes.api.model.ConfigMap;
+import io.fabric8.kubernetes.api.model.ConfigMapBuilder;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.api.config.ConfigurationService;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.api.config.ControllerConfiguration;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.api.reconciler.Context;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.api.reconciler.DefaultContext;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.api.reconciler.dependent.DependentResource;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.api.reconciler.dependent.DesiredStateAspect;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.processing.Controller;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.processing.dependent.kubernetes.KubernetesDependentResource;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.processing.event.EventSourceManager;
+import io.javaoperatorsdk.operator.processing.event.source.EventSource;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThatCode;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@SuppressWarnings({"unchecked", "rawtypes"})
+class DesiredStateAspectReentrancyTest {
+
+  private static final ConfigMap PRIMARY =
+      new ConfigMapBuilder()
+          .withNewMetadata()
+          .withName("primary")
+          .withNamespace("ns")
+          .endMetadata()
+          .build();
+
+  @Test
+  void aspectCanLookUpActualResourceOfTheDependent() {
+    final DesiredStateAspect aspect =
+        (desired, dependentResource, ctx) ->
+            ((DependentResource) dependentResource)
+                .getSecondaryResource(ctx.getPrimaryResource(), ctx);
+    final var context = contextWith(List.of(aspect));
+
+    final var dependent = new ChildConfigMapDependent();
+
+    assertThatCode(() -> dependent.getSecondaryResource(PRIMARY, context))
+        .doesNotThrowAnyException();
+  }
+
+  /**
+   * The desired state of the other dependent is asked for while the one of the first is still being
+   * computed. Dependents that land in the same bin of the map holding the desired states used to
+   * fail with "Recursive update".
+   */
+  @Test
+  void aspectCanLookUpActualResourceOfAnotherDependent() {
+    final var other = new ChildConfigMapDependent();
+    final var dependent = new ChildConfigMapDependent();
+    final DesiredStateAspect aspect =
+        (desired, dependentResource, ctx) -> {
+          if (dependentResource == dependent) {
+            ((DependentResource) other).getSecondaryResource(ctx.getPrimaryResource(), ctx);
+          }
+        };
+    final var context = contextWith(List.of(aspect));
+
+    assertThatCode(() -> dependent.getSecondaryResource(PRIMARY, context))
+        .doesNotThrowAnyException();
+  }
+
+  @Test
+  void desiredStateIsComputedOnce() {
+    final var context = contextWith(List.of());
+    final var dependent = new ChildConfigMapDependent();
+
+    final var first = dependent.getOrComputeDesired(context);
+
+    assertThat(dependent.getOrComputeDesired(context)).isSameAs(first);
+  }
+
+  private static DefaultContext<ConfigMap> contextWith(List<DesiredStateAspect> aspects) {
+    final ConfigurationService configurationService = mock();
+    when(configurationService.desiredStateAspects()).thenReturn(aspects);
+    final ControllerConfiguration<ConfigMap> controllerConfiguration = mock();
+    when(controllerConfiguration.getConfigurationService()).thenReturn(configurationService);
+    final Controller<ConfigMap> controller = mock();
+    when(controller.getConfiguration()).thenReturn(controllerConfiguration);
+    final EventSourceManager<ConfigMap> esm = mock();
+    final EventSource<ConfigMap, ConfigMap> es = mock();
+    when(es.getSecondaryResources(any())).thenReturn(Set.of(configMap("actual")));
+    when(esm.getEventSourcesFor(ConfigMap.class)).thenReturn(List.of(es));
+    when(controller.getEventSourceManager()).thenReturn(esm);
+    return new DefaultContext<>(null, controller, PRIMARY, false, false);
+  }
+
+  private static ConfigMap configMap(String value) {
+    return new ConfigMapBuilder()
+        .withNewMetadata()
+        .withName("child")
+        .withNamespace("ns")
+        .endMetadata()
+        .withData(Map.of("key", value))
+        .build();
+  }
+
+  private static class ChildConfigMapDependent
+      extends KubernetesDependentResource<ConfigMap, ConfigMap> {
+    ChildConfigMapDependent() {
+      super(ConfigMap.class);
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    public int hashCode() {
+      return 1;
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    protected ConfigMap desired(ConfigMap primary, Context<ConfigMap> context) {
+      return configMap("desired");
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    public ConfigMap getOrComputeDesired(Context<ConfigMap> context) {
+      return super.getOrComputeDesired(context);
+    }
+  }
+}