feat(status-pages): status edge Worker and renderers - #1928

🟢 Confidence 8/10 · likely safe to merge. Held at 8 because earlier reviews of this pull request found 5 defects.
_{3 notes · tests covered · risk medium · 5 defects fixed in earlier rounds}

The head fixes the overlay-cache race and the uptime floor, each pinned by a test that fails on the old code; the three info findings in untouched files still stand. It does not touch apps/status/src/resources.ts, so none of the open HttpClientError/NotFoundError issues are addressed.

• rememberOverlay re-reads the colo cache so a post that raced a lagging KV list survives
• formatPercent rounds float error off before flooring, so 99.84% no longer prints as 99.83%
• test-support gains a duringList hook that lands a write inside a live KV list

Before merge

• Infra · Check every environment has what this config now expects · alchemy.run.ts

Still open from earlier reviews

• 🔵 Note · F10 · KV, R2 and Cache reads get no Client span · apps/status/src/storage.ts:26
• 🔵 Note · F11 · PAGE_SCRIPT re-implements formatAge's buckets · packages/status-page/src/page.ts:27
• 🔵 Note · F9 · A failing overlay list is retried in full on every request · apps/status/src/snapshot.ts:210

Fixed since the last review

• ✅ F6 · loadOverlay's list path caches over a break-glass post it raced
• ✅ F7 · formatPercent floors a float artifact, printing uptime a cent too low
• ✅ F8 · The list path overwrites the colo overlay cache with an assembly read before a concurrent post, dropping the newly posted entry

Production impact

_{0571d31 · Reply "won't fix" to dismiss a finding, or mention @maple-review-bot to ask about one.}